I love giving feedback. I’m thrilled when a friend asks me to read their papers or help them with an assignment. I love reading others’ works and telling them what’s working and what isn’t. One of my favorite classes I’ve taken in my major is called Editing, and all we do is write short pieces, trade them with one another, and edit them. Sometimes I can get overeager and leave more feedback on a piece than may be necessary. I’m always worried about being perceived as cruel or critical, but I also want to give genuine advice. I always hope that others will give me good feedback, too.
Today I read “The Trouble with Amazing: Giving Praise That Matters” by Jennifer Gonzalez. I enjoyed this article. I always try to leave lots of positive comments on work that I read, and Gonzalez points out that that is a necessary part of good feedback. You have to let someone know what is good so they know to keep doing it or they can see where they have improved a previous mistake. Most of the article is focused on why general feedback is not helpful. Telling someone their work is “amazing” or “great” does not say anything specific about why it was great. It is very discouraging for me when I get work back that just says “Great job!” It makes me insecure. Is my professor just saying that because it was so bad that he doesn’t even think it’s worth correcting? Or what exactly was good? The characters, the story, the tone, the grammar? Gonzalez calls this “Paula Praise,” as in Paula Abdul from the old American Idol days. I thought this was funny because she’s right. We say we want “constructive criticism,” but I wonder if we also want “critical praise,” praise that specifically hones in on what is working and why it was exceptional.
The second article I read is “Be a Mirror: Give Readers Feedback that Fosters a Growth Mindset” by Gravity Goldberg. It is written from the point of view of a reading teacher, but I think the advice about feedback can apply to writing and any other work. Goldberg says that feedback should be specific, and it should reflect what is in front of us without any additional judgement. She suggests providing context for feedback, so instead of saying “This sentence was well-written,” say, “This sentence really helped me understand the emotions of the character at this moment.” I think this is great advice and will separate average feedback from really good feedback. It can be used in negative feedback, too. Instead of saying “This part of the story was rushed,” you can add context and saying “This part was rushed and created an emotional disconnect between the characters and the reader.”
This diagram by Kim Scott explores the relationship between personal trust and challenging feedback. Source.
I’m really excited to read more stories and give lots of useful feedback! I hope to avoid nonspecific feedback and give lots of praise that is critical as well as uplifting.
Featured Image: Feedback chalkboard. Source: Picpedia.org
This week I researched some of the story parallels between the episodes within the Ramayana and those within Greek epics. If I go with this Storybook topic, I can put the characters in similar situations. Overall, while I’ve found a lot of surprisingly similar stories between the two cultures, and both sets of stories have the traditional tropes of heroic epics, the characters are very different in nature. I think there could be a lot of rivalry or conflict between them if they ever “met,” and that could be fun to explore.
Story #1: Helen and Sita
I started off exploring the abductions of Helen and Sita. I hadn’t even thought of this parallel until Laura pointed it out the peculiar variation on the kidnapping that both stories share: in some traditions, Sita was replaced with an illusory version of herself, just like some Greek poets argued that Helen never actually went to Troy. (Here’s a Wikipedia source for Helen and one for Maya Sita.)
I am fascinated by this wrinkle and surprised it appears in both traditions. The reasoning behind the choice makes sense. The abduction of these women calls their marital fidelity into question, and that is a problem when the heroes, like Menelaus and Rama, are supposed to demand the utmost righteous and purity from themselves and their companions. At the same time, by my more modern opinions about purity, consent, and fidelity, I find it disturbing that storytellers came up with convoluted workarounds to prove the heroines’ purity. Especially in the case of Rama and Sita, Rama is extremely distrustful of Sita’s claim that she didn’t sleep with Ravana and forces her to prove it through a divine trial. I would prefer he just believed her, and even if Ravana had touched her, it was no doubt without consent, and Sita was the victim here.
Abduction of Helen by Maerten van Heemskerck. Source.
Anyway, I think the very fact that this has stirred up a lot of thought for me makes it a fascinating story to explore. While I pointed out the more creepy aspects of the phantom episodes, they’re also cool because they add mystery and deception to the stories. I also think they give the heroines more opportunity for agency in the stories. Instead of sitting in a tower waiting to be rescued, Helen and Sita could influence the heroes from behind the scenes. I think it would be interesting if Sita and Helen found themselves kidnapped together and worked together to make phantom versions of themselves so they could escape.
Story #2: The Stringing of the Bows
Both the Ramayana and the Odyssey have episodes where the hero strings a legendary bow and performs a great feat of archery to win their wife. In the Ramayana, Rama strings Janaka’s bow, which no one but Sita could even lift, and in the Odyssey, Odysseus returns to Ithaca in disguise to prove his identity and drive out the suitors who are after his wife Penelope.
I wanted to read an account of Janaka’s bow with more detail than the Tiny Tales version that I read for the weekly reading assignment, so I dug around until I found this version of the epic by Krishna Dharma, and here is the chapter about Rama’s archery trial. I also visited the Mythology and Folklore Un-Textbook to find this online translation of Odysseus’s archery story. I think in the storybook, it might be interesting if these two had a friendly (or maybe not) archery competition.
Story #3: Heroic Dedication to Duty
My favorite moment in the Iliad, and maybe really all of literature, is when Hector and Andromache say goodbye before Hector leaves Troy knowing that he’s going to die. He chooses his duty to his father and the love of his city over betraying his heroic ideals to be with his wife and son (it’s truly tragic). I saw a lot of this moment reflected in the episode where Rama’s brother Bharata begs Rama to return from exile and be king of Ayodhya. Rama refuses the offer because he doesn’t want to disobey his father’s wishes and is committed to the sacred life of living in the forest. I think Rama and Hector have a lot in common, at least from the portion of the Ramayana I have read thus far.
I once again turned to the Dharma version of the Ramayana to get more detail about Rama and Bharata’s conversation. That story is right here. And here is Hector’s goodbye with Andromache from Alfred J. Church’s translation of the Iliad. I think this story would have a place in my storybook as a more emotional and thematic part because it focuses on the tragic and difficult aspects of being an epic hero. Both Hector and Rama have to give up very good and important things in order to fulfill their destinies.
Have any of you guys ever felt like a third wheel? That’s me. Every day. I thought it would be fun to go on this all-summer road trip with my brother and his fiancée, but it’s getting really old halfway through the summer.
We’ve been to the craziest places. We met some monks at the Grand Canyon and hiked with a guru in Yellowstone. We even fought off a witch in Glacier National Park. But at the end of the day, Ray and Ciara always want to take pictures by the best views. And me? I’m always the one holding the camera.
I’ve got to put aside my hurt feelings, though. Today was…well let’s just say it was a bad day. Do you remember that motorcycle gang we ran into at Zion? Remember their leader, that absolutely ripped biker named Van? Yeah, that creep is back, and his little crush on Ciara isn’t so little anymore. The guy’s a total psychopath. Here’s what happened.
We’re hitting Grand Teton on our way back south, right? We stopped at this AirBnb with a gorgeous view of the mountain range in the distance and a forested valley right below our cabin.
I thought we were all going to stay in the cabin for the night and hang out, maybe play some cards, but Ciara and Ray started getting all moony-eyed. I knew I was going to be spending the night updating the blog while they went on a hike through the stars or whatever nonsense couples do.
It got weirder, though. Ciara was standing on the porch looking at the valley, and I was transferring the camera photos to my hard drive at the table behind her. The sun was setting, so the sky was absolutely gorgeous with oranges and purples.
Ciara made this strangled gasp. “Look, I think—I think it’s Bigfoot!”
“Bigfoot isn’t real,” I grumbled, but I stood up to look over her shoulder.
She pointed at something in the trees. “Do you see it?”
I squinted. It was pretty far away, and the dusky lighting acted like a fog. There was definitely something large and dark moving through the trees, but there was no reason to assume it was Bigfoot. “That’s gotta be a bear or a moose,” I said.
“I swear it had a face,” Ciara claimed.
Ciara’s smart. You guys know that. I love her, really, even if I complain about being left out. I didn’t doubt that she saw something unusual, but as the saying goes, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses and not zebras.
“What are we looking at?” Ray slipped through the glass door onto the porch.
“Bigfoot!” Ciara said.
“What, really?” Ray grabbed the camera from the table and leaped over the porch rail.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“To get a picture!” He winked at Ciara. He’s always trying to impress her, like when he tried to feed that bison in Montana. Stupid. He zipped up his Patagonia jacket. “You two stay here.”
He marched downhill into the forest.
I couldn’t believe he actually left to go look for whatever giant animal was in the trees. Ciara seemed to come to her senses, too.
“Aren’t you going to follow him?” she asked.
“And do what?” I asked. “He told us to stay here.”
“What if it really is a bear?”
After she asked that, Ray’s scream echoed through the valley. I hadn’t heard him scream like that since he broke his arm when we were kids, and it’s a chilling sound.
Fear rippled through me like electricity. I grabbed Ciara’s shoulder and tried to pull her inside.
“Laki!” Ciara pleaded. “You have to help him!”
“Okay. Okay.” I couldn’t let my brother get mauled. “But you have to stay here, and if we don’t come back, call the local police.”
She nodded her agreement, and I vaulted over the railing to follow my brother’s shouts.
It didn’t take long to find him.
He was wrestling with some bear-sized dude in a black leather jacket and one of those goofy gorilla face masks.
I tackled the burly guy off of him, and he backed off. I recognized the busted skull patch on his jacket. He was definitely in the motorcycle gang from Zion.
The gorilla boy laughed. “You two are so stupid,” he said. He saluted us with two fingers and ran into the woods.
I helped Ray up. His lip was bleeding. “The goon just jumped me,” he said.
“You think they’re following us?” I asked.
Then, a feminine scream ripped through the trees: Ciara.
“You don’t think—” I started, but Ray had already taken off up the hill.
By the time we got back to the porch, Ciara was gone, and a gruesome skull sticker had been slapped on glass of the screen door.
Ray slammed his hand into the table and nearly knocked my laptop off. “That loser Van took her!” he roared. “What a misogynistic, dumb-witted piece of—”
I buried my head in my hands. “This is my fault,” I groaned. “I shouldn’t have left her.” My brother was heartbroken and my closest friend was in danger all because I couldn’t protect them both.
Ray’s rage softened. He clapped a hand on my shoulder. “Hey man, you didn’t do anything wrong. You were ready to charge Bigfoot for me. How could we have known it was a trap?”
“But Ciara—”
“We’ll find Ciara,” Ray said. “Van picked the wrong brothers to mess with.”
And that was Day 47. Hopefully Day 48 will be better. If any of you guys know a motorcycle gang that uses a half-crushed skull for their symbol, let me know. We’ve got to find their hangout and rescue Ciara. But really, she’s going to be hacked off enough that maybe we’ll have to save Van from her wrath. Either way, the national park tour is on hold until the gang is back together.
–Laki
Author’s Note:
This story is based on the part of the Ramayana where Rama goes after the golden deer and Sita is kidnapped by Ravana and his minions. I read the Tiny Tales version, and in it, I was really captured by Lakshmana, who’s really this sidekick character that shows a lot of heart and doesn’t get enough credit. I decided to tell the story from his point of view, through the character of Laki. Laki feels like a third wheel around his brother and his brother’s fiancee, and when things go wrong, he feels at fault. He’s also the voice of reason of the group, and I love voice of reason characters. In the original story, Lakshmana tells Sita there’s no such thing as a golden deer, and in this story, Laki tells Ciara that there’s no such thing as Bigfoot. Of course, no one listens to him.
My version of the story takes place with the Ramayana trio being a team of 3 college-aged kids taking a summer-long road-trip through the national parks of the west. This is meant to be similar to Rama, Sita, and Lakshmana being in exile in the Indian forest. I even implied that they’ve had some supernatural incidents and met some wise travelers just like the original trio do. I wanted to experiment with a different voice, so I wrote it in an informal “travel blog” style.
Ravana also appears (indirectly) in this story as Van, the leader of a rough-and-tumble motorcycle gang that has made it their mission to terrorize Ray and his friends.
Bibliography:
Tiny Tales from the Ramayana, Part B, by Laura Gibbs. Source.
Featured Image: Schwabachers Landing in Grand Teton National Park. Ken Lane. Source: Flickr.
Image 1: American Black Bear. C Watts. Source: Flickr.
Image 2: A crushed and discolored skull. Source: Wikimedia.
I find it narratively interesting that this section starts with Rama questioning whether or not he will renounce the world by living in the forest, yet he ends up living in the forest anyway. Later, Sita has to remind him that he can’t just be a forest hermit forever; that he actually has a duty that he needs to remember.
The part where Rama forgives Manthara and tells her about her future life and his future incarnation reminds me a lot of how in the Iliad, Aeneas makes a few minor appearances, like foreshadowing, and then Virgil made him the main character of the Aeneid.
The episode of Ravana kidnapping Sita is a great midpoint in the narrative. It shows the villain is still involved in thwarting the hero.
Lakshmana is interesting in this part of the story. He’s the voice of reason between Sita and Rama. Sita is enamored with the golden deer. Rama wants to impress her by catching it. Lakshmana is the only one bold enough to voice concern that the deer might not be what it seems.
At the same time, these guys have been fighting monsters and demons and transforming rocks and all kinds of crazy stuff, so the fact that Lakshmana says, “Pssh, golden deer don’t exist,” is really funny.
Golden deer art from a Neo-Classical house in Budapest. Source.
I’m really finding myself attached to Lakshmana in this episode. His internal conflict comes when his loyalty to his friend is split. Does he save Rama from potential danger or disobey him and leave Sita?
The story doesn’t specify, but I bet Lakshmana was felt very guilty and grief-stricken after realizing he’d been duped into abandoning Sita. He does all the emotional labor for Rama by calming him down, but he himself must have felt at fault, too.
Rama’s reaction to Sita’s abduction is great. His rage and grief show that he truly cared about her. He’s not upset because a piece of his property was stolen; he’s upset because his friend and lover is in terrible danger, and he wasn’t there to help her.
Bibliography:
Tiny Tales from the Ramayana, Part B, by Laura Gibbs. Source.
My favorite character in this week’s reading was Sita, so I took notes on her episodes.
Sita is adopted by King Janaka. When he finds her he seems overjoyed and declares “She has chosen me to be her father!” With the marriage test, it’s also clear that Janaka knows his daughter’s strengths and wants to have her marry someone that matches/is worthy of her. I love seeing this father-daughter love, and I think it will make Sita stronger.
It’s actually really cool that in one of her origin stories, Sita is sort-of the daughter of Ravana. I would expect her to be a powerful warrior or a big help in defeating Ravana with the blood of his enemies within her. She might not be an actual warrior because she’s a woman, but I can tell she’s going to play a big role.
Sita is very self-assured and bold. Even when she’s a baby, she tells Ravana to his face that she’s going to see him destroyed. I am a big fan.
The foreshadowing of Sita’s conflict with Ravana is great. First, he falls in love with her cooking without knowing it’s hers, and then he fails to string the bow.
I wonder how Sita felt about Ravana trying to string the bow. She didn’t know it was him, but I bet she got bad vibes.
I wonder why Sita went to pray for a husband. Was she lonely? Was she worried her father would give in and marry her to an unworthy man? Maybe the episode with Ravana happened shortly before and she was scared a fearsome man like him would pass the test.
I love a good love-at-first-sight moment like with Rama and Sita, but Sita also feels like the kind of woman who would fall in love with more than just handsomeness. I bet she was thinking that Rama was attractive, but she discerned other good qualities about him.
A dancer in a Khon performance, a Thai genre based on the Ramayana. Source: Pixabay
When Rama broke the bow because he was distracted by Sita, I think that was a really adorable moment/detail, but I like that the story also implies it’s foreshadowing for something bad.
I like that the story doesn’t rush Sita and Rama’s initial relationship. They get married quickly, yeah, but they’re still learning about each other. They really do seem like a good match because they communicate.
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